Sunday, April 26, 2009

Gray hairs and pimples

I went to dinner Friday night with some friends and one of them was complaining that she is too old for pimples. "Tell me about it," I said, pointing to a couple red spots on my jaw line. "I shouldn't have pimples and gray hairs at the same time!"

* * * * *

When I got to the restaurant I thought I spotted a girl from high school. I dashed over to meet my friends without looking her way, but not really knowing why. I did know I'd been up since 5 a.m. and didn't sleep well the night before, and small talk with people I've seen once (at my high school reunion) in the last 12 years doesn't come super easily to me - especially when I'm tired. I realized soon that she was with her younger sister, and her sister's husband, all people I knew back when. One of them walked by, saw me, and said hello, and so I went over and chatted with them all for a bit. Her sister and brother-in-law had an 8-month-old son. She was married in the fall, and is pregnant. I was friends with her my senior year, and though we didn't keep in touch afterward, she has never been anything but nice to me. After I came home I wondered why I felt so awkward about seeing them. I wished I had asked more questions about their lives. I remembered a lot of old memories I haven't thought of in years. And then I realized, my feelings had nothing to do with them, but with myself. Back when I was in high school, I didn't know who I was and, like everyone else, was trying to figure it out. In some ways, I'm proud of the person I was then. But in other ways, I'm embarrassed. I don't know what people will remember about me, and I think that is what makes me uncomfortable. But I think the important thing to remember is that all of us have grown and changed in the last 12 years. We all have our accomplishments and failures and insecurities. And that shouldn't keep me from catching up with an old friend.

1 comment:

volksbloggin said...

Your thought process is the EXACT reason why I avoid going to my hometown and will never attend a class reunion.